Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba~!
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight~.
Master Squid had always loved Lion King ever since he was young. Every night, before he went to sleep, he watched the movies over and over again. Although Lion King 2 was amazing, he honestly enjoed the first one more. He felt that it was a lot more original. And so, on the night of May 29, he climbed into bed and turned on the Lion King on the nearby TV. Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba~! Right after that phrase, the TV screen went black. Master Squid gasped. He then started to cry.
"Where's my Lion King? I want it and I want it now!"
Master Squid sulked in his bed for hours, just like Euwan had on the bus when she noticed that she forgot her science textbooks. Suddenly, a face appeared on the screen. It was...it was... SIMBA!
(Oops, sorry. Typo. I meant Kimba.)
Master Squid screamed. "Ew! It's that old time, asian, ripoff version of Lion King! Ew ew! Get it off of my screen!"
Master Squid covered his face with his tentacles, trying to shield his eyes from the TV screen. The tV screen never shut off or moved. The picture just stood there, torturing Master Squid. Giving him pain, immense pain. PAIN THAT WAS SO PAINFUL THAT MASTER SQUID'S SOUL WAS DRIVEN TO THE EXTENT OF COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF, HAVING BEEN OBLIVIOUS TO THE PAIN THAT ENCRYPTED HIS SOUL FOR MANY CENTURIES BEFORE, AND AS HIS CORPSE DECOMPOSES, HIS MIND FLOATS OFF TO A NEW DAWN, A NEW AGE WHERE HE CAN ONCE AGAIN BE FREE AND THEN RIGHT AFTER BE ENCOURSED AGAINST THE IMMENSE PAIN THAT HAS DRIVEN HIM TO HIS TORTURING AGONY. As Master Squid cried, a faint song played from the TV. It went: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight~. Master Squid eased at the beautiful music that played faintly but he didn't dare look at the screen in fear of seeing Kimba. Suddenly, the TV screen changed. It was a video of Simba fighting Kimba! Master Squid shrieked in both terror and joy.
"Go Simba, go! I believe in you! Defeat that hooligan!"
Simba and Kimba fought each other. It was a brutal battle. But Simba obviously had the advantage, since he was a newer version and had more character development. Just before Simba delivered the finishing blow, Master Squid was teleported to a dark room. "Hello? Anyone there? Simba? Kimba? Hello?"
Suddenly a bright light streaked through the room. Out appeared a Big Mouth Billy Bass. Master Squid immediately recognized him. It was the famous Brass Pitt (get it? Cuz it's Brad Pitt?). Brass Pitt had gotten famous because of his beautiful singing voice (You can check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m80jt6bm6ZA).
"Brass Pitt! I love you! Can I get a signature on my siphon?"
"That's not the important thing here, Master Squid. You have a mission."
"What is it? What do I need to do."
"Come walk with me."
A small dirt path appeared in the dark room leading to a small garden. Master Squid walked next to Brass Pitt.
"Master Squid, you must learn that no matter what, all of us are the same. Kimba and Simba are the same. One must not judge each other and be prejudiced. We are one together. This is the Circle of Life"
"WTF. Is this some kind of yoga/Shakespeare thing?"
"Um no."
"Oh is this a satanic cult ritual? Are we sacrificing Kimba? I'm totally down for that."
"Ugh I give up. Goodbye."
Master Squid's view faded away and he was back in his bed. And like that, MASTER SQUID HAD SAVED THE DAY AGAIN!
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba~THE END!
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