Master Squid and the Bloomer Platform

Master Squid used to have a friend named Fishburger. She was a very vigilant girl who was sometimes too confident. But everyone still loved her and she had many friends. However, one day her dog ran into a volcano. Fishburger chased after the dog but she fell into the water and died. Her corpse was never found. And some of you may know that in the movies, in a situation like this, Fishburger would come out as a villain and attack poor canines as revenge and of course Master Squid would come along and save the day. However, this is a weird-ass blog about mystical pedo vans and squid so I don't think that is going to happen. 

Master Squid climbed out of his bed and stretched all of his tentacles. His siphon was still broken from the other adventure (if you know what I am talking about) but it was healing slowly. He ate breakfast and took a walk outside. As he walked he noticed a pretty bird was sitting on a tree. Master Squid took out his phone to take a picture but the bird flew away. 

"OH NO! I need a picture of that bird! To the Squidmobile!"

Master Squid rushed to his garage and turned on the ignition of the Squidmobile. 

(The squidmobile)

"LET'S SQUIDDADLE!"

Master Squid zoomed through the streets and chased after the pretty bird. Hours passed but the bird never stopped flying. Master Squid stopped driving when the bird finally settled into a nearby tree. Master Squid looked around. He was at the top of a volcanic mountain. Lava boiled beneath him. It was quiet except for the bubbles popping into the molten lava. Until...

"MUAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA-*cough cough."

Master Squid looked up to the sky where the voice was coming from. There stood Fishburger, wrinkled and old with age. Master Squid screamed, not because of the sight of seeing an old childhood friend who was supposed to be boiled and incinerated in a volcano but because of the platform she was standing on. 

(Those of you who watch Mayoi Neko Overrun would understand this picture)

It was a platform in the shape of a bloomer! Behind her was a clan of high school boys softly singing the Bloomer Song. Master Squid gasped at the sight. Blood streaked out of his siphon. And then he broke out into a grin.

Singing along with the younger boys, Master Squid hung out with Fishburger for the rest of the day. Apparently Fishburger never did die. She had fallen onto a ledge on the side of the volcano pit and had no way of getting back up. And apparently there was also a group of middle school boys who had dared each other to land onto the ledge but were stuck there. Fishburger was also wearing a bloomer at that time (I know. She was walking her dog in a bloomer) and the boys, being hormone driven, worshipped her. The boys built the majestic platform and they had lived in the volcano ever since. After recollecting memories Master Squid parted and returned home. And even though there was nothing to save, MASTER SQUID HAD SAVED THE DAY AGAIN!

THE END