Master Squid hated dust. Which meant that he hated dust cleaners more...because if he ever needed to use a dust cleaner, that meant that there was dust. The reason why he hated dust was a long story.
It was the last day of school back in 1938. It was the times of the Great Depression, and Master Squid's family was one of the ones that were hit the hardest. His two oldest siblings, Mister Squid and Macker Squid, were able to attend school while the other forty-seven children had to scavenge for food on the streets. Master Squid was the twenty-fourth oldest. And everyone knows that the twenty-fourth oldest would always grow up into a dust-keeper. And so, Master Squid's parents always taught him how to perfectly dust their Hooverville shack. Master Squid enjoyed learning to dust with his parents. It was a way to bond with them. But one day, Master Squid's parents were arrested for shoplifting in a grocery store. Master Squid knew they were innocent. Afterall, they were with him the entire day reminding him how to pat off dirt from carpets. But the judge would not listen.
Master Squid's parents were executed.
Master Squid's Mother
source: www.ettabinthecity.com
Master Squid vowed to get revenge on dust. And you might be wondering "Why not vow revenge on the judge that ordered his parents to die?". But dear audience, the title clearly says "Dust Cleaner of Doom". We can't forget that the story has to be about dust. And also because this is a weird-ass blog and logic doesn't work here. I mean, THIS BLOG IS ABOUT A MYSTICAL SQUID! What did you expect?
Master Squid ran away from his Hooverville shack a week after his parents died, leaving his 48 siblings. He lived on the streets of a nearby city, selling gum and soda on the streets to make a living. And now, he is a successful squid and his occupation is: a hero that really doesn't save anyone or anything. Rather, he's the one who needs the saving but no matter!
Master Squid sat down in his couch and turned on the TV. The TV screen played a commercial for dust cleaners.
"ARGH! I HATE THIS TV! WHY DOES IT KEEP PLAYING THE WORST THINGS! FIRST KIMBA AND NOW DUST!"
Master Squid threw a rock at the TV, shattering the screen. However, when the screen shattered, an object rolled out of the TV. It was a dust cleaner. Master Squid gasped. It was a vile thing, so helpless on the ground. And worst of all, it was purple! Master Squid hatede the color purple (although some squids have a purplish hue). Suddenly the dust cleaner got up.
"I am the Dust Cleaner of Doom! But you can call of John Mayor Blanca Enrique de Las Rancas Hermosas a Todos Los Unidos for short."
"UGH! You disgust me! Scram, you worthless piece of metal filled with air that is highly priced and taxed even though it is practically useless!"
"You called me USELESS!? How dare you! You deserve to die!"
John Mayor Blanca Enrique de Las Rancas Hermosas a Todos Los Unidos tackled Master Squid. He blew air in Master Squid's siphon.
"AK! That's cold! Stop! It tickles too."
Master Squid punched John Mayor Blanca Enrique de Las Rancas Hermosas a Todos Los Unidos in the throttle so that he couldn't blow air anymore.
"Ugh! I'm practically useless if I can't blow air! Goodbye, Master Squid! I shall come for you again! Arrrriiiiiibbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
AND SO ONCE AGAIN, MASTER SQUID HAS SAVED THE DAY! Do you notice how many times the enemy just runs away in this blog?
THE END
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